I Don’t Want A Hero!

5 06 2010

“Success is going from failure to failure without losing the enthusiasm.” -Benjamin Franklin

In one of my biking adventures…in Nuvali Sta. Rosa Laguna

Sometimes, I feel like I’m no good. In a world where most of the times, the basis of success lies on financial
achievement, unparalleled wisdom and superb athleticism, I do have self-pity for not meeting those requirements.
Even up to now, Financially I’m struggling specially  that I’m only on probation
in my new job. I’m also lacking in training because I can only run 2x a week making it impossible for me to join the Milo 42K
As a trainee in my new job, I failed miserably in last Friday’s examination. Our trainor gave instruction not to answer
pages 1 and 2, and we have to answer only pages 3, 4, 5 and 6. I don’t know what happened to me but I mistakenly answered
page 2 but neglected to answer page 4. So, to make the story short, I FAILED. With a heavy heart, I pondered why it did
happen. I did my best to talk to my Trainor explaining my side but since it was my error, no consideration was given.

After that exam and series of failures recently, I often told myself, “Oh God, I can’t do anything You wanted me to do.
I’m no good, I’m worthless and a failure.”

Until I read a good book, Grace Works by Dudley Hall which uplifts my sagging spirit. Let me share with you a part of his
story…

When I was a freshman in College, I learned firsthand that God’s plans and my expectations aren’t always the same thing.
As a high school senior, I received a football scholarship. My prayer was constantly, “Lord, help me to be a good football
player, and I will use that athlete’s platform to speak for you.

I honestly thought God and I had a deal. He would help me be a successful athlete, and in turn would help Him reach
football-smitten youngsters with the Gospel.

I was on the starting team most of the times and showed great promise. Then, in the last game of the season, I was blocked
from behind and suffered a fractured hip. After lying immobile  in the hospital for several weeks , I was told by my doctor
that I would never play football again.

I was devastated! “I can’t keep my promise to God. What good will I be to Him now? No one will want to hear my story.
What kind of a hero is a crippled freshman?” I visualized kids staying away from my speaking engagements in large numbers,
mumbling, “Dudley who?”

I thought God wanted a football hero to put in a good word for the Gospel. But He just wanted to love me. I shall never
forget that day alone in hospital room number 101 when I admitted, “Oh God, I can’t do anything you wanted me to do!”
And I heard God’s reply, “I love you just like you are. I don’t want a hero. I just want you.” My human expectations were
replaced by a broader and deeper understanding of God’s call and promise to me. He can be trusted.

Oh wow, I’m touched by that message. I don’t know what lies ahead in the future. But for sure, God will continue to love me.
In good times and in bad times, He can be trusted. I just pray that He will give me the strength and wisdom to persevere.

And I’m not afraid to fail because He’s not looking for a hero – Just an ordinary man with an extra ordinary heart. And I pray that I may become such one.

Go and be a blessing.

God be Praised!


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One response

11 06 2010
RunningAtom

Hi Sir, I’m always amazed at how you could always turn your mind into a positive outlook after a bad day or experience. And I like that last line “… He’s not looking for a hero — just an ordinary man with an extra ordinary heart.” So good and true, makes us love Him and ourselves even more despite of our shortcomings.🙂

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